Greeting from the Blotters Blog Horrorscope.
May you have a week of affluence that is copiously full of opulence!
Please remember that this is all in good fun.
Pisces
February 20 - March 20
Such a rainy with a chance of dragons type of day that Pisces is going to have!
Todays light will be one that is dull like a spoon.
Time to start planning a garden for fun because according to yesterdays Moon Full of cheese!
Your night will be famished because it needs sustenance.
Congratulations! Your lucky numbers are said to be
25, 93, 83, 69, 16, 21, 81
A quote for your week.
“To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive.” ― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey
Aries
March 21 - April 20
The goddess has granted Aries a day of Bountiful like yonder waifus bosom as it bounces boobily while she runs! Hope and misery will be at war once more.
Todays light will be one that is full of envy.
The moon was spooky like a cheesy family friendly Halloween cartoon and will soon bring forth that with which you seek. Be warned.
Your night will be waxed like a fresh bikini line.
Be happy! Your lucky numbers are said to be
9, 4, 77, 36, 85, 52, 30
A quote for your week.
“I am now convinced that I have never been much in love; for had I really experienced that pure and elevating passion, I should at present detest his very name, and wish him all manner of evil. But my feelings are not only cordial towards him; they are even impartial towards her. I cannot find out that I hate her at all, or that I am in the least unwilling to think her a very good sort of girl. There can be no love in all this.” ― Jane Austen
Taurus
April 21 - May 21
Such a swampy day with many frogs that Taurus is going to have! As sweet as the singing rain and just as carefree.
Todays light will be one that is invisible like a jet.
The moon is looking like it would have been harvested like the souls of the damned if not for the sky dragon eating it yesterday.
Your night will be missing.
The winds of luck have shined upon you! Your lucky numbers are said to be
63, 11, 93, 79, 81, 30, 75
A quote for your week.
“Because here’s the thing: No matter how much one tells stories of magical beasts or impossible worlds, in the end, it is always the world of here and now one is writing about. The better one understands that world, the more powerful the stories will be.” ― Steven Brust
Gemini
May 22 - June 21
Oh what graceful goddess has granted you luck! For Gemini your day is going to be so fetch.
Todays light will be one that is bad like the decisions you haven't made.
The moon is looking like it would have been Partial if not for the clouds hiding it yesterday.
Your night will be bountiful like a perfect charcuterie board.
But don't be afraid, your lucky numbers are said to be
63, 48, 39, 98, 8, 11, 72
A quote for your week.
“I swear it on my soul. Actor: I look like a troll. Makeup Artist: You could be on the dole. Actors: There should be some sorcery To smooth this out for me But we’re just going through the lotions Hope this one doesn’t suck. Actor: If some gets in my mouth I think I’ll—yuck. Makeup Artist: You can see from your reflection This won’t work with your complexion. Actor: Where will it all end? Makeup Artist: Dejection. I don’t want to be Going through the lotions Hoping one’s a win Even a synthetic That works as a cosmetic They just want to have Good skin!” ― Steven Brust, Lyorn
Cancer
June 22 - July 22
Your day looks like it's going to be Hell will come for you another day. Better luck next time Cancer!
Todays light will be one that is good in a nice comforting way.
Last nights moon was MOON but wait! There isn't anymore. Sorry about that.
Your night will be whistfull for a time when it can relax.
Hark! Your lucky numbers scream that they are here for you! They scream that they are
64, 16, 79, 5, 41, 14, 9
A quote for your week.
“as is well known, it is those with the least to say who use the most words, which is why, as the reader has no doubt observed, this historian endeavors, without exception, to limit his use of words to the absolute minimum required to successfully convey the desired thought.” ― Steven Brust, The Baron of Magister Valley
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Oh dear, Leo. Looks like your day is going to be rainy with a chance of horses? Well, things can't get possibly worse, right?
Todays light will be one that is haunting like a bad B grade movie that will never be a cult classic.
Yesterday the full of gas moon will soon bring forth that with which you seek. Be sure to double check your lucky numbers.
Your night will be relaxing.
Lucky numbers are such a tricky thing! Yet yours appear to be
73, 21, 77, 84, 90, 20, 93
A quote for your week.
"How despicably I have acted!" she cried; "I, who have prided myself on my discernment! I, who have valued myself on my abilities! who have often disdained the generous candour of my sister, and gratified my vanity in useless or blameable mistrust! How humiliating is this discovery! Yet, how just a humiliation! Had I been in love, I could not have been more wretchedly blind. But vanity, not love, has been my folly. Pleased with the preference of one, and offended by the neglect of the other, on the very beginning of our aquaintance, I have courted prepossession and ignorance, and driven reason away, where either were concerned. Till this moment I never knew myself.” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Virgo
August 23 - September 23
Congratulations Virgo! Your day is like it is going to Cold as the coldest heart of the most wretched soul you know! Things couldn't be any better, right? Right?
Todays light will be one that is mysterious as the women in the shadows.
Last nights moon was shiny like a brand new copper penny but now it is over. Yes, it will probably happen again.
Your night will be stoned as one that has gazed upon Medusa without her permission.
Be warry! Your lucky numbers are said to be
98, 76, 20, 42, 4, 80, 94
A quote for your week.
"All literature consists of whatever the writer thinks is cool. The reader will like the book to the degree that he agrees with the writer about what’s cool.” ― Steven Brust, The Paths of the Dead
Libera
September 24- October 23
You are going to have a day as Fearful as a new born kitten. Spitting and hissing at the world! Oh dear Libera! You best be watching your step.
Todays light will be one that is wanting so much you could hear it screaming.
The moon is looking like it would have been famished if not for the mice that used all of their tiny ladders to reach it. They said it was a delightful tasting cheese.
Your night will be hungry like the wolf.
No more waiting with baited breath as Your lucky numbers are said to be
30, 57, 97, 75, 5, 72, 86
A quote for your week.
"I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” ― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Ophiuchus
November 29 - December 18
Such a day when Hell will come for your foes when they sleep, be it day or night it will find them. Ophiuchus is going to have! The gods cry for you.
Todays light will be one that is heaven like successfully getting true vengeance.
Yesterday the moon was devoured by mice and will soon bring forth that with which you seek. Be asleep.
Your night will be the envy of a kitten taking a nap in the warm sunbeam.
Your lucky numbers are said to be . But you don't have to take our word for it.
15, 64, 57, 24, 3, 95, 11
A quote for your week.
"Chalet, who had finished his ale, left the cup where it was, making no effort to procure more, indicating that he was capable of what the natural philosopher calls "learning behaviour," which turn of phrase pleases us so much that we cannot resist making use of it.” ― Steven Brust, Five Hundred Years After
Scorpio
October 24 - November 22
You are going to have a day of Hell while watching the world burn in a way that is satisfying to you! Oh dear Scorpio! And it looks like your coupons are expired as well.
Todays light will be one that is bright like a hamster.
Bet you weren't expecting for your lucky moon for yesterday to be salty like a bitter ex? The horror!
Your night will be harvest.
Be alert! Your lucky numbers are said to be
13, 77, 81, 45, 12, 89, 70
A quote for your week. "There was a sergeant at a desk. I knew he was a sergeant because I recognized the marks on his uniform, and I knew it was a desk because it's always a desk. There's always someone at a desk, except when it's a table that functions as a desk. You sit behind a desk, and everyone knows you're supposed to be there, and that you're doing something that involves your brain. It's an odd, special kind of importance. I think everyone should get a desk; you can sit behind it when you feel like you don't matter.” ― Steven Brust, Iorich
Sagittarius
November 23 - December 21
The goddess has granted Saggittarius a day of Good like the warmth of the first sip of your favorite hot drink! The earth shakes and trembles with your news.
Todays light will be one that is bad in the most general way.
The Envy moon from yesterday will soon bring forth that with which you seek. Be worried.
Your night will be devoured by mice.
One day your lucky numbers will win a lottery.
94, 88, 4, 27, 38, 10, 50
A quote for your week.
“Ever heard someone tell you that hard physical labor can be soothing? Can take your mind off your problems? Can leave you feeling better? I’d heard that. In my opinion, hard physical labor gives you blisters, and the only real distraction I got was trying to remember the spells I’d once known for curing them. He was much better than me, by the way; turns out there is even skill involved in digging holes. Who knew?” ― Steven Brust, Jhegaala
Capricorn
December 22 - January 20
Such a day when The Swamp Hag was watching you Capricorn is going to have! May the gods have mercy on you.
Todays light will be one that is bountiful like the heart.
Your Waxed moon has taken a vacation, please check again later.
Your night will be shiny like a brand new copper penny.
Be aware! Your lucky numbers are said to be
36, 83, 50, 29, 73, 6, 61
A quote for your week.
“...that the Musgroves had had the ill fortune of a very troublesome, hopeless son; and the good fortune to lose him before he reached his twentieth year; that he had been sent to sea, because he was stupid and unmanageable on shore; that he had been very little cared for at any time by his family, though quite as much as he deserved; seldom heard of, and scarcely at all regretted... He had, in fact, though his sisters were now doing all they could for him, by calling him 'poor Richard,' been nothing better than a thick-headed, unfeeling, unprofitable Dick Musgrove, who had never done anything to entitle himself to more than the abbreviation of his name, living or dead.” ― Jane Austen, Persuasion
Aquarius
January 21 - February 19
Congratulations Aquarius! Your day is going to be rainy with a chance of ice cream! Isn't that a gas?
Todays light will be one that is red as the blood that drips from a knife.
Good thing that Yesterdays Moon was Empty and vacant like the eyes of a retail worker during the winter holidays! Or else you might have had to go to work or some other such silly nonsense.
Your night will be devoured.
Little lucky numbers that are said to be
40, 73, 65, 64, 93, 62, 70
A quote for your week.
"I immediately got six ideas on how to approach it. Once I’d eliminated the ones that would require me to leave the theater, I was left with zero. That was only one fewer than I needed, so that was encouraging.” ― Steven Brust, Lyorn
